“Four Weddings”, family trees and anniversaries

Nicola suggested me watching “Four Weddings” to have a boost of wedding ideas since I hardly have any due to lack of experience ^^. It is about four brides-to-be going to each other’s weddings and rating them; the one who gets the highest score wins a deluxe honeymoon to a wonderland with sunshine+beach 24/7. I admit for the first half an hour I thought it was a hideous programme. I thought some of their “dream wedding” plans to be very bizarre – I don’t want to be dressed like a cucumber or vampire for my wedding! But what touched me were the brides’ feelings towards their big days and their Mr Rights, especially the ones who lost. Every one of them thought THEIR wedding was the best and the most perfect, however wrong it might seem to other people. I really like that attitude, and that spirit has taken some pressure off me. I used to treat the wedding almost like a piece of coursework, but now I see the difference: the coursework can go wrong and receive a low mark; a wedding is always gonna end up well for two people who truly love each other.

    Nicola also asked me to make a family tree in order to have a clearer idea of who is who in my family just in case they all come to the wedding and there happens to be a Chinese delivery man there. I really, really enjoyed this job! I had never made a family tree before because there are not many of them and my memory hasn’t gone bad yet. But when I was making it I felt how people are connected to each other and 2 people’s love can create a miracle. I became addicted and made Ben’s family tree too. I’m going to combine them 2 and make it into a poster and put it on our walls in the future, so our children will constantly be reminded how miraculous they are~

    I went to a couple of wedding anniversaries in the past few weeks (including Andrew and Nicola’s of course) and there is nothing more pleasant, before Ben and I get married, to see strong couples one pair after another celebrating their lives together. My parents reached their silver as well 2 years ago, although it is not my family’s tradition to throw a party about it (I think we really should), the love between them is growing grander and grander every day. It may be true that the divorce rate has rocketed, but let’s not be affected by that. I think a marriage means 2 people love, stay and help each other through thick and thin for the rest of their lives. As long as we have faith in that, we will always be fine whatever waits for us ahead.

my parents on their wedding day

in their silver year

Nicola & Andrew at their silver anniversary party

^^

A roller-coaster letter & a girls’ night-out

My dad emailed me a long letter the day before yesterday which made my heart sink and bounce back. Don’t worry, he didn’t order me to go back to China for an arranged marriage or anything. Quite the opposite, he expressed his enthusiasm to my wedding and gave me a lot of advice (which added a “little” bit of pressure to my plan).

    The night before Nicola and I were briefly adding the number of people Ben and I would like to invite, and we reached 72 without even trying. That means, if I still want the wedding to take place in the Liphook Church, we either have to lose 2 stones each or sit on each other’s laps for the service… I was only expecting 6-8 people from my family to come, buy my dad asked me to invite 20! I’d love them all to be able to make it of course, but that also means a bigger venue, more hotel rooms and more entertaining programmes to be organised on the England side; for many of them that may be their one and only trip to England, and I don’t want to let them down.

    But let’s look at the wonderful side of it! Like Nicola said, it shows how much my family loves me and they are all willing to fly out in winter to celebrate with me! And my dad is SO open-minded that he doesn’t interfere with my marriage at all (although he was quite worried when I told him I was going out with a long-haired English guy, he was picturing Manchurian zombies at one point). All he wants is just everybody to be happy! I have to say this is a rather rare characteristics of Chinese parents and I’m so proud that I have a dad like him. ^^

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Last night I went to visit Nicola’s parents with her. Maybe it’s because of the “Hong Kong bond” (well Shanghai is not far from Hong Kong and our people look very much alike) or their really bubbly character, I started to like them the first time I met them. I’m very excited that they’re going to be my grandparents-in-law. And and and, I got to enjoy one of the very few chances that we girls out-numbered boys! There were a lot of woos and ows and giggles and planning and dreaming accompanied by delicious Chinese food ordered by Brian and Judy, and Brian with his whisky~

    And I also learnt that the groom is not allowed to know anything about the bride’s wedding dress until he sees her in the church! Oops I already put the picture of my “dream dress” all over the place (my Chinese blog can be accessed from 3 places)… Need to take them down before he comes back.